Believe me, it's a more difficult choice than one would think.
Online dating. I mean, how hard can it be, right? I know I'm no longer 25, but it still seems so simple. Create a clever inviting profile, post it, and wait for dozens of intelligent captivating single men to contact me, so enamored with my charm and wit they just HAVE to meet me. And after only a few short months, I find my Prince Charming and we move to Italy to live in a Tuscan villa on a vineyard enjoying wine and olives and fresh crusty bread, living happily every after.
Hahahahaha!...yeah..ok...let's have a reality check, shall we? One year into the fiasco that is online dating, I find myself saying on a regular basis "what the fuck?!!" We have the guy who NEVER reads a profile. We have the guy who apparently has the vocabulary of a 2-year-old and can only respond with "hey" or "yeah" or "how R U?" (really???...can't type "are" and "you?"...hmm...wonder what that guy does with all his extra free time). We have the 23-year-old guy contacting me, a 50(ish)-year-old woman...seriously?! I could be your mother for God's sake! We have the guy who spends an hour talking about how he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend (uh, yeah, bruh, every girl wants to hear that while on a date...I'm sending you a bill for a therapy session). We have the guy who will message daily for two weeks, then finally set up a date only to unmatch and disappear a mere 4 hours later...huh?!?! Ghosting. It's real. And prevalent.
Eesh. Online dating might be the stupidest thing I've ever done.
So, to make lemonade out of lemons, I'm going to use my spreadsheet superpowers to document and analyze behaviors of all these lemonheads to hopefully shed some light on their completely fucked up behaviors. Girlfriends, I assure you, you are not alone in the dreadful world of online dating. But let's figure these bastards out! And after the analysis is complete, we'll most likely decide it's better to adopt a dozen fluffy cats and schedule that root canal.